Friday, August 27, 2004
Serenity NOW!
Nobody claimed responsibility for the "Ralph Surprise", so it looks like I'll be writing this thing myself.
I swear that the woman who sits on the other side of my cube has been put there only to A) Annoy me to no end and/or B) Provide me with material. I guess this one is a good example of both. Yesterday, she wasn't sure if the voice mail on her new cell phone was working, so she wanted to test it out. How do I know this? The same way I know that her sister is on vacation in the Bahamas and that she had heart surgery, which cost almost $40,000 (insurance covered 80%)...she is LOUD and doesn't seem to mind if the whole office knows everything about her. Keep in mind, I've never met her. Anyway, back to the voice mail test. The office was quiet and everyone was going about their own business when suddenly, the loud, raspy voice comes booming from over the cubicle:
"Hi Me, it's Me! I'm just testing my voice mail, okay? Byeeee!"
This is what I have to deal with every day. At this very moment, she's talking about this great new website she has discovered, which is called "Craig's List".
Yesterday, I didn't have any reading material for the commute home, so I decided to catch a little shut-eye on the bus. As some of you know, I am prone to making various noises -- grunts, groans, etc. -- while I am asleep. This seems to be particularly true when I am taking a nap or in a "light" sleep. I heard a sound that was not so unlike the tone of Pee Wee Herman during this rant. I woke up, startled. I looked up and the bus driver was looking in his rear view mirror and the woman sitting in front of me to my left was glancing back at me. It didn't take me long to realize that I was the one that made the crazy sound that woke me up. This is a very unsettling feeling, which I have experienced an unfortunate amount of times: knowing that you just did something to attract attention, but being unsure of how embarrassed you should be. For all I know, I could have been making that noise for ten minutes, but I only know for a fact that I just made that noise. I did the only thing I could think to do, which was to go into a fake coughing attack, clearing my throat and making sounds in an attempt to convey the idea that this is what I was doing all along. Yes, I am a ridiculous person, but that is why you read my blog. On a good note, today is sushi day and I just found a $50 bill in my pocket. Booyakasha!
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I swear that the woman who sits on the other side of my cube has been put there only to A) Annoy me to no end and/or B) Provide me with material. I guess this one is a good example of both. Yesterday, she wasn't sure if the voice mail on her new cell phone was working, so she wanted to test it out. How do I know this? The same way I know that her sister is on vacation in the Bahamas and that she had heart surgery, which cost almost $40,000 (insurance covered 80%)...she is LOUD and doesn't seem to mind if the whole office knows everything about her. Keep in mind, I've never met her. Anyway, back to the voice mail test. The office was quiet and everyone was going about their own business when suddenly, the loud, raspy voice comes booming from over the cubicle:
"Hi Me, it's Me! I'm just testing my voice mail, okay? Byeeee!"
This is what I have to deal with every day. At this very moment, she's talking about this great new website she has discovered, which is called "Craig's List".
Yesterday, I didn't have any reading material for the commute home, so I decided to catch a little shut-eye on the bus. As some of you know, I am prone to making various noises -- grunts, groans, etc. -- while I am asleep. This seems to be particularly true when I am taking a nap or in a "light" sleep. I heard a sound that was not so unlike the tone of Pee Wee Herman during this rant. I woke up, startled. I looked up and the bus driver was looking in his rear view mirror and the woman sitting in front of me to my left was glancing back at me. It didn't take me long to realize that I was the one that made the crazy sound that woke me up. This is a very unsettling feeling, which I have experienced an unfortunate amount of times: knowing that you just did something to attract attention, but being unsure of how embarrassed you should be. For all I know, I could have been making that noise for ten minutes, but I only know for a fact that I just made that noise. I did the only thing I could think to do, which was to go into a fake coughing attack, clearing my throat and making sounds in an attempt to convey the idea that this is what I was doing all along. Yes, I am a ridiculous person, but that is why you read my blog. On a good note, today is sushi day and I just found a $50 bill in my pocket. Booyakasha!
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