Mestee Blogger

Last night after work, I went downstairs to conference center at World Trade, where our holiday party was being held. This year, the party had a carnival theme, so right when you walked in, there were people on stilts pointing you to the coat check areas and face-painted dancers just sort of frolicking around, for lack of a better term. There were vendors passing out candy apples and Haagen-Dazs ice cream bars. Bells were going off while people played the water pistol games and skee ball. Past the entrance was a big section of hard plastic stools and tables, set up sort of like a 70's style lounge, with a live swing band and professional dancers in front of that. Then there was a tent with just pizza and pasta, but I went on behind that, past the whack-a-mole games, pool tables, and ice sculptures, where I found some chinese food that was looking pretty good. I felt a little silly carrying around my Chinese food box filled with, well, Chinese food, but it's difficult to complain about a free meal of this quality.

I lost my co-workers before we even got down to the main entrance, so I didn't really have anybody to hang out with. This made the whole thing much less enjoyable. After I finished eating, I found a speed pitch booth...the kind where you get 3 pitches to throw as fast as you can, as measured by the radar gun. They had the names and speeds of the 3 fastest male pitchers and 3 fastest female pitchers posted on a board next to the booth. I had found my entertainment for the evening.

Chances are, if you're a guy between the ages of 25 and 65, you don't really have a good grasp of how fast you can throw a baseball. This fact was the source of some serious comedy last night. Big guys who seemed to think they could break the Top 3 (77, 74, and 73 MPH at the time that I left) suddenly found themselves struggling to stay ahead of the top 3 women (49, 46, 45). Guys went up there laughing, being chided by their buddies, but then took on a whole new look when they realized their fastball now topped out at 38 miles per hour. Suddenly, it became clear to them that they would have to throw faster than the woman in the high heels and blue blazer that went before them, or they would never hear the end of it. I bet you're wondering how fast I threw. The unfortunate answer is, I didn't take my turn. I am curious now, and sort of wish I had thrown a few, but at the time I was wondering if my arm would fall off, since I haven't thrown a baseball since uh...last year sometime? Also, I wasn't sure if the hole in my shoes could take the landing of my front foot without busting open -- an experiment I didn't feel like conducting in front of a crowd of people. By my best estimates, I would guess I could throw in the low 60's. Then again, Bill from Accounting probably thought he could throw faster than Barbara from Implementation, but I might be just as wrong as he was.

First, people wanted spinning rims...but now spinning apartments? Have a good Friday.

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