Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Loco Motive
I had a seriously stressful ride home from work yesterday, and I swear I would have punched the commuter rail conductor in the face if he weren't so old.
I got on the train at 5:40 last night, and it was pretty full already, since it was set to leave at 5:45 pm. I drank too much water before I left work, but I didn't have time to run to the bathroom at North Station, so I figured I'd use the one on the train, which is always located in the last train car. I walked to the last car, took care of business, then stood and read my book right outside of the bathroom. Enter crazy old conductor guy. He asked for my ticket and, since my ticket is only valid for the first stop, he asked where I was going -- this is reasonable and happens with most conductors, but here's the full exchange:
COCG: Where you going?
Me: West Medford.
COCG: (Yelling loud enough to make a scene) West Medford?! What are you doing down here?! You can't get off the train down here! You have to move down at least two cars!
I didn't know where to begin my explanation or whether to explain that it was reasonable to walk towards one of the open doors as the train was coming to a stop, which I do all the time, rather than standing next to the exit the whole time. He pointed down to where he wanted me to go, but there were some obstacles...namely the people that had filed in behind me who had to stand in the aisle because there were no seats left. Again, he loudly instructed me to walk to the next car, drawing the attention of everyone in my current train car. I felt like a bad kid being punished and publicly reprimanded.
After I fought my way through the people in the aisle, I passed into the console between cars and looked into the next car, where the conductor wanted me to go. The next car was even more packed with people in the aisles...but this car was newer, and with it came newer, narrower aisles. I stood there for a minute, not wanting to enter the car, but the conductor came up behind me again...
COCG: What are you doing?! I told you to move down two cars, not one!! Get in there!
The conductor managed to draw everyone's attention again with his crazy-old-man yells. There was an audible groan as everyone in the packed car saw that someone was looking to get through. I paused at what seemed to be an impossible impasse, and the conductor, who was following me to the next car, started yelling again.
COCG: What are you waiting for?! C'mon, move! I'm right behind you!
At this point, I wanted to yell:
"Listen, buddy! Maybe your eyesight isn't good enough to see the people piled in the aisle, but they're there, and I don't know how I'm supposed to get by them! If it's so easy, why don't you go first, and I'll follow?"
Instead, I said at a very moderate tone:
"It's not that easy."
Clearly I had lost this fight. I finally fought my way to the end of the car and stood toward the end of the aisle. The crazy old conductor guy worked his way down the car, collecting tickets. He eventually caught up to me and, just to add a little insult to injury, tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me, ma'am...you need to move so I can get by!". Oh, perhaps he didn't recognize me, the guy that he had been antagonizing for the last 10 minutes. Yes, I can see how my girlish physique could confuse somebody if they weren't able to see my five o'clock shadow and sideburns...afterall, my hair is so long that it almost extends to the collar of my shirt. Crazy Old Conductor Guy, I'll get you for this!
In a completely predictable career move, Britney Spears has announced that she wants to go to school to become a forensic scientist. Oops, I overestimated my intelligence again! Not quite as catchy.
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I got on the train at 5:40 last night, and it was pretty full already, since it was set to leave at 5:45 pm. I drank too much water before I left work, but I didn't have time to run to the bathroom at North Station, so I figured I'd use the one on the train, which is always located in the last train car. I walked to the last car, took care of business, then stood and read my book right outside of the bathroom. Enter crazy old conductor guy. He asked for my ticket and, since my ticket is only valid for the first stop, he asked where I was going -- this is reasonable and happens with most conductors, but here's the full exchange:
COCG: Where you going?
Me: West Medford.
COCG: (Yelling loud enough to make a scene) West Medford?! What are you doing down here?! You can't get off the train down here! You have to move down at least two cars!
I didn't know where to begin my explanation or whether to explain that it was reasonable to walk towards one of the open doors as the train was coming to a stop, which I do all the time, rather than standing next to the exit the whole time. He pointed down to where he wanted me to go, but there were some obstacles...namely the people that had filed in behind me who had to stand in the aisle because there were no seats left. Again, he loudly instructed me to walk to the next car, drawing the attention of everyone in my current train car. I felt like a bad kid being punished and publicly reprimanded.
After I fought my way through the people in the aisle, I passed into the console between cars and looked into the next car, where the conductor wanted me to go. The next car was even more packed with people in the aisles...but this car was newer, and with it came newer, narrower aisles. I stood there for a minute, not wanting to enter the car, but the conductor came up behind me again...
COCG: What are you doing?! I told you to move down two cars, not one!! Get in there!
The conductor managed to draw everyone's attention again with his crazy-old-man yells. There was an audible groan as everyone in the packed car saw that someone was looking to get through. I paused at what seemed to be an impossible impasse, and the conductor, who was following me to the next car, started yelling again.
COCG: What are you waiting for?! C'mon, move! I'm right behind you!
At this point, I wanted to yell:
"Listen, buddy! Maybe your eyesight isn't good enough to see the people piled in the aisle, but they're there, and I don't know how I'm supposed to get by them! If it's so easy, why don't you go first, and I'll follow?"
Instead, I said at a very moderate tone:
"It's not that easy."
Clearly I had lost this fight. I finally fought my way to the end of the car and stood toward the end of the aisle. The crazy old conductor guy worked his way down the car, collecting tickets. He eventually caught up to me and, just to add a little insult to injury, tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me, ma'am...you need to move so I can get by!". Oh, perhaps he didn't recognize me, the guy that he had been antagonizing for the last 10 minutes. Yes, I can see how my girlish physique could confuse somebody if they weren't able to see my five o'clock shadow and sideburns...afterall, my hair is so long that it almost extends to the collar of my shirt. Crazy Old Conductor Guy, I'll get you for this!
In a completely predictable career move, Britney Spears has announced that she wants to go to school to become a forensic scientist. Oops, I overestimated my intelligence again! Not quite as catchy.
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