Mestee Blogger

A question? For me? Looks like I might have to answer it.

Mestee,

How did your friend Irfan get the nickname "vestigial third nipple"?

Curiously,
Brendan

Brendan-

It sort of came about as a lark, but then it stuck. Jack said he had always wanted a friend with the nickname "vestigial third nipple", so he decided that Irf should have that nickname. It wasn't very catchy, and it didn't really relate to Irf's real name at all, but for some reason it stuck. This is in sharp contrast to Jack's attempt to give Josh Wilke the nickname "Silky" during freshman year of college. He had a plan that involved calling him "Silky Wilke" for a while, then once he got used to that, Jack would drop the "Wilke" and just call him "Silky". Jack got a little too anxious though, clearly advancing too quickly from "Silky Wilke" to "Silky". In fact, I believe that the first (and last) time Jack tried to call Josh Wilke "Silky", his response was "What the hell did you just call me?". At least Irfan's nickname stuck.

Truly Yours,
Brian

My job requires me to talk to roughly nobody on the phone, so barely anyone knows the phone number. For some reason, I've been getting calls at my desk on an almost daily basis for the last two weeks and, not surprisingly, it's almost always the wrong number. On some occasions, it's people looking for tech support. Other times people are looking for a particular employee who does not happen to be me. Today, it was this:

Me: Hello?
Woman: Hi, I was wondering if you could help me?
Me: Uh, okay.
Woman: What is the model of your laser jet printer?
Me: I'll go check....4200.
Woman: Okay, great. That matches with our records.
Me: Okay.
Woman: Has the printer been working okay for you?
Me: I never use it.
Woman: Never?
Me: Never.
Woman: Do you have a department secretary?
Me: Probably, but I don't know who it is.
Woman: Well, who do you ask when you run out of printer paper?
Me: I never use the printer.
Woman: Who do you get office supplies from?
Me: My boss.
Woman: Is your boss the secretary?
Me: No.
Woman: And you never use the printer?
Me: Nope.
Woman: And you don't know who orders your office supplies?
Me: No.
(awkward silence)
Woman: Thanks for your help.

I found strange satisfaction in being completely unhelpful to this woman, who I believe learned her lesson not to call any random extension around the printer she wants to know about.

As we talked about ordering supplies, I was reminded of a time when Steve was put in charge of ordering the supplies for his lab and he set his security question as "Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks?". He was banking on the fact that he'd never have to really use it...but he did. Plus, I believe he had to tell other people in his office when he was away so they could order supplies.

This is a bit surprising, but I'd be interested to watch it. Don't forget to root for Michigan State and Illinois this weekend...it's my only chance.
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