Thursday, July 21, 2005
Field and Stream of Conciousness
What up, yo? I'm just hangin' in my cube, counting down the remaining days in my contract. Perhaps I haven't mentioned this, but my last day is Wednesday. Why Wednesday? Well, a little over a month ago, I asked if I could take the 28th and 29th of July as vacation days. About a week later, they told us that two major projects we were waiting for were not going to happen for one reason or another. This meant that as of July 31st, about 14 of us would be without jobs. Therefore, I unwittingly moved up my termination date.
What will I do next, you ask? That's a damn good question. A question that I will be trying to answer in the final days leading up to my eviction from Cubeville. Maybe I should be more concerned. Jobs don't just grow on trees, you know. I'm thinking of investing 100% of my savings into a boatload of powerball tickets. Don't worry, I'd make sure to hedge my bets by taking the balance of my ROTH IRA and putting it towards a large number of scratch tickets. This way, I won't have to get another job. Unless, somehow I don't win. Yeah, right.
"Yeah, right" is a phrase that I used almost constantly between the ages of 5 and 10. It was typically used to challenge anything thought to be a false claim.
"I can jump over that fence with my bike." "Yeah, right."
"My dad can beat up your dad." "Yeah, right."
"My mom is Heather Locklear" "Yeah, right."
You get the idea. One time somebody actually told me that his mom was Heather Locklear. It seemed reasonable to me, since I didn't know who she was, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Then, I found out that his mom was the manager of Shenanigan's Bar and Grill, and that Heather Locklear was the star of a TV show called Dynasty. I thought it was amazing that she could find time to manage a restaurant and also star in a TV show. Hey, I was six. Anyway, it's interesting that such phrases just leave your regular vocabulary after a while. Maybe there's just less use for them, unless you live with Irfan and have to constantly deny his ridiculous claims.
If you have any favorite childhood phrases, feel free to send them in for our amusement.
Nothing says "eternal love" more than a Croatian prison.
Those who develop six packs will be excommunicated.
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What will I do next, you ask? That's a damn good question. A question that I will be trying to answer in the final days leading up to my eviction from Cubeville. Maybe I should be more concerned. Jobs don't just grow on trees, you know. I'm thinking of investing 100% of my savings into a boatload of powerball tickets. Don't worry, I'd make sure to hedge my bets by taking the balance of my ROTH IRA and putting it towards a large number of scratch tickets. This way, I won't have to get another job. Unless, somehow I don't win. Yeah, right.
"Yeah, right" is a phrase that I used almost constantly between the ages of 5 and 10. It was typically used to challenge anything thought to be a false claim.
"I can jump over that fence with my bike." "Yeah, right."
"My dad can beat up your dad." "Yeah, right."
"My mom is Heather Locklear" "Yeah, right."
You get the idea. One time somebody actually told me that his mom was Heather Locklear. It seemed reasonable to me, since I didn't know who she was, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Then, I found out that his mom was the manager of Shenanigan's Bar and Grill, and that Heather Locklear was the star of a TV show called Dynasty. I thought it was amazing that she could find time to manage a restaurant and also star in a TV show. Hey, I was six. Anyway, it's interesting that such phrases just leave your regular vocabulary after a while. Maybe there's just less use for them, unless you live with Irfan and have to constantly deny his ridiculous claims.
If you have any favorite childhood phrases, feel free to send them in for our amusement.
Nothing says "eternal love" more than a Croatian prison.
Those who develop six packs will be excommunicated.
|
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