Thursday, October 27, 2005
The Safety Dance
Hey there. I've been having some seriously uneventful days as of late, but I figured I'd post anyway. Yesterday, late in the afternoon, I decided to venture out and put together my Halloween costume. This year, that task involved heading to the Army Surplus store in Malden. Upon finding a parking space immediately in front 
of the store, I looked into the display window and saw a giant gun, equally giant rounds of ammunition, and a gasmask. For a fleeting moment, I was a little nervous to go in there. In my head, there was the voice of John Goodman yelling "You're out of your element, Donnie! Donnie, you're out of your element!". The moment passed, however, and I went into the store to get what I needed. I was wondering at what point I would give myself up as not being a hunter or aficionado of army gear, but rather a dude who was going to dress up as a redneck hunter for halloween.
"You lookin' fer anything in particular?" the gray-haired shopkeeper asked.
"Uh, yeah. I need pants and a shirt and a safety vest," I told him.
"We got a safety vest right here. Five dollars," he said as he handed it to me.
"Oh, do you have something that's not a pullover, but more like a vest?" I asked.
"Son, I don't know what yer talkin' bout. This is a safety vest. You want a safety vest, right?"
Yup, this was the moment where he officially knew I was not there for anything more than to score a sweet halloween costume.
"Fair enough," I told him,"I'll go look for pants."
After attaining pants, a shirt, and a safety vest, I headed to Spencer's at the mall for a novelty trucker hat and some redneck-style fake teeth. Luckily, they had both. I realize that the middle-aged woman at the counter works at Spencer's Gifts and is therefore undoubtedly subjected to all sorts of vulgar slogans and images on a daily basis, but with the slogan on the front of my hat in mind, I still couldn't make eye contact with her as I placed it on the counter. With that task complete, I'll just need a six pack of Budweiser Tall Boys to complete my costume.
If you're dressing up for Halloween, make sure to take pictures and send them to Mesteeblogger@gmail.com so I can post them here.
|
of the store, I looked into the display window and saw a giant gun, equally giant rounds of ammunition, and a gasmask. For a fleeting moment, I was a little nervous to go in there. In my head, there was the voice of John Goodman yelling "You're out of your element, Donnie! Donnie, you're out of your element!". The moment passed, however, and I went into the store to get what I needed. I was wondering at what point I would give myself up as not being a hunter or aficionado of army gear, but rather a dude who was going to dress up as a redneck hunter for halloween."You lookin' fer anything in particular?" the gray-haired shopkeeper asked.
"Uh, yeah. I need pants and a shirt and a safety vest," I told him.
"We got a safety vest right here. Five dollars," he said as he handed it to me.
"Oh, do you have something that's not a pullover, but more like a vest?" I asked.
"Son, I don't know what yer talkin' bout. This is a safety vest. You want a safety vest, right?"
Yup, this was the moment where he officially knew I was not there for anything more than to score a sweet halloween costume.
"Fair enough," I told him,"I'll go look for pants."
After attaining pants, a shirt, and a safety vest, I headed to Spencer's at the mall for a novelty trucker hat and some redneck-style fake teeth. Luckily, they had both. I realize that the middle-aged woman at the counter works at Spencer's Gifts and is therefore undoubtedly subjected to all sorts of vulgar slogans and images on a daily basis, but with the slogan on the front of my hat in mind, I still couldn't make eye contact with her as I placed it on the counter. With that task complete, I'll just need a six pack of Budweiser Tall Boys to complete my costume.
If you're dressing up for Halloween, make sure to take pictures and send them to Mesteeblogger@gmail.com so I can post them here.
|
Comments:
Post a Comment
| Post A New Topic |
|
View Message Board |
| Search The Internet |
