Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Agitation Complete.
I'm generally an easy-going guy, but there are some things that get on my nerves a little bit. I've compiled a short list with examples.
1. Calling Every Controversy "____ Gate". Watergate is the name of the hotel that Richard Nixon's henchmen broke into in an attempt to steal campaign information that they thought to be valuable. Somehow, "Gate" became synonymous with "controversy", and any word put before it referred to the specific controversy. There's no way that a rational human being could think about this for more than a minute and still agree that this is a reasonable practice. The Watergate controversy was not about water. Why are events dealing with Valerie Plame called "PlameGate"? What about MonicaGate? HugGate? BananaGate? CornGate? Make it stop! It doesn't even make sense! Watergate was not about water! It's just the name of a hotel!
2. Replacing "You" and "For" with "U" and "4". Seriously, only Prince can get away with this. If you ever feel compelled to write someone a cute little note that says "UR the best! I would do anything 4 U!", punch yourself in the face and remember that you know how to read and write in complete English -- unless you are Prince, in which case, carry on.
3. Sharing Too Much Information. This has become sort of an epidemic in America. People are just way too forthcoming about anything and everything that's going on with them. Blogs and AIM have sort of fueled this, providing people with a feeling of self-importance where there should be none. I suppose I'm guilty of this. Anyway, is it now socially acceptable to announce "I have to pee"? It seems like a lot of girls think it's a pretty cute thing for them to say. Maple, the woman I work with, announced it just the other day in the office. I never ever ever need to know that information. I read an interview with Ricky Martin in Blender yesterday...why was I reading an interview with Ricky Martin? Good question. Why did someone publish an interview with Ricky Martin? Better question. Anyway, as I was reading the interview, I began to wonder if he knew that this would be read by hundreds of thousands, possibly millions, of people. He said things that, if they were true about me, I would most likely not tell my best friends...but there they are in print. They go well beyond Mesteeblogger's PG-13 rating, so you'll have to seek out the latest issue of Blender yourself.
4. Naming Celebrity Couples. I know, I'm not exactly the first one to complain about this, but Brangelina, Bennifer, and Bennifer II can still go to hell.
5. Grunting While Taking Care of Business at a Urinal. This has happened to me before, including yesterday. I'm glad, Urinal Neighbor, that your actions are relieving you. However, I don't need to know about it for sure. If another one of my future urinal neighbors decides to bellow out a giant sigh of relief, I might try to start crying just to confuse him. Ever seen anyone cry at a urinal? I didn't think so.
That's pretty much it for now. Like I said, there's just not that much that bothers me. Okay, I have to get ready for work. There's a possibility that I won't be posting again until after this weekend, but I don't know for sure. Adios muchachos.
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1. Calling Every Controversy "____ Gate". Watergate is the name of the hotel that Richard Nixon's henchmen broke into in an attempt to steal campaign information that they thought to be valuable. Somehow, "Gate" became synonymous with "controversy", and any word put before it referred to the specific controversy. There's no way that a rational human being could think about this for more than a minute and still agree that this is a reasonable practice. The Watergate controversy was not about water. Why are events dealing with Valerie Plame called "PlameGate"? What about MonicaGate? HugGate? BananaGate? CornGate? Make it stop! It doesn't even make sense! Watergate was not about water! It's just the name of a hotel!
2. Replacing "You" and "For" with "U" and "4". Seriously, only Prince can get away with this. If you ever feel compelled to write someone a cute little note that says "UR the best! I would do anything 4 U!", punch yourself in the face and remember that you know how to read and write in complete English -- unless you are Prince, in which case, carry on.
3. Sharing Too Much Information. This has become sort of an epidemic in America. People are just way too forthcoming about anything and everything that's going on with them. Blogs and AIM have sort of fueled this, providing people with a feeling of self-importance where there should be none. I suppose I'm guilty of this. Anyway, is it now socially acceptable to announce "I have to pee"? It seems like a lot of girls think it's a pretty cute thing for them to say. Maple, the woman I work with, announced it just the other day in the office. I never ever ever need to know that information. I read an interview with Ricky Martin in Blender yesterday...why was I reading an interview with Ricky Martin? Good question. Why did someone publish an interview with Ricky Martin? Better question. Anyway, as I was reading the interview, I began to wonder if he knew that this would be read by hundreds of thousands, possibly millions, of people. He said things that, if they were true about me, I would most likely not tell my best friends...but there they are in print. They go well beyond Mesteeblogger's PG-13 rating, so you'll have to seek out the latest issue of Blender yourself.
4. Naming Celebrity Couples. I know, I'm not exactly the first one to complain about this, but Brangelina, Bennifer, and Bennifer II can still go to hell.
5. Grunting While Taking Care of Business at a Urinal. This has happened to me before, including yesterday. I'm glad, Urinal Neighbor, that your actions are relieving you. However, I don't need to know about it for sure. If another one of my future urinal neighbors decides to bellow out a giant sigh of relief, I might try to start crying just to confuse him. Ever seen anyone cry at a urinal? I didn't think so.
That's pretty much it for now. Like I said, there's just not that much that bothers me. Okay, I have to get ready for work. There's a possibility that I won't be posting again until after this weekend, but I don't know for sure. Adios muchachos.
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