Mestee Blogger

I believe that the Universe has some sense of balance that extends to the people who inhabit it. What I do not know is whether the positive and negative events that affect individuals work themselves out to balance within that particular individual or, instead, if the positive and negative events balance out throughout humanity, leaving some to experience a life consisting of an unbalanced amount of good or bad events. If the former is the case, then I am soon in for the best day of my life. If the latter is true, then I may be in trouble.

Yesterday, on my way to replace items that were lost during the theft of my wallet last weekend, the side view mirror got clipped off of my car. That shouldn't happen, right? Surely something bad shouldn't happen when you're going to do something to fix something bad that someone did to you. Isn't that what should happen to the person that stole my wallet? When I got home, I had a piece of mail waiting for me. Was it a check from the Federal Government with a letter explaining that they had accidentally not paid me $10,000 in tax refunds? Was it two tickets to the SuperBowl left by an anonymous donor? Perhaps a letter from Donald Trump, explaining that he had seen my resume on Monster and decided to skip the whole TV show thing and just hire me as the next apprentice? No. It was a summons for jury duty.

I went to the mall to buy myself a new wallet and was greeted by forty-something woman with the biggest set choppers I've ever seen. I'm telling you, these teeth were more frightening than the set I wore for Halloween. I gave her the wallet and then...

Teeth: This is a nice wallet.
Me: Yeah, thanks.
Teeth: (looking at my check book) Oh, you're writing a check?
Me: Yeah.
Teeth: Do you have a license?
Me: No, I have my passport.
Teeth: Let me call my manager.
(Talking on phone)
Teeth: He says no. You need to have a driver's license.
Me: I know, but I had my wallet stolen, so I just have my passport.
Teeth: Yeah, we can't do that.
Me: So you can't sell me a wallet because I lost my ID, which was in my wallet?
Teeth: Sorry.
Me: You understand the irony in that, yes?
Teeth: Yes.
Me: Okay, that's good.

While looking on the Registry of Motor Vehicles website, I had noticed that they had a location at this very mall in Cambridge. I went up to the third floor, filled out some forms, wrote a check (they didn't even check for ID...maybe the RMV has a great understanding of irony) and got myself a temporary license. In this case, it seems that malls are good for something. I triumphantly returned to the cashier at Filene's and proudly presented my new temporary license. At this point, she took about 12 minutes typing in numbers and repeating my total balance due. I hope I never have to write checks again.
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