Mestee Blogger

Recently, MesteeBlogger sat down with Brendan Fernald for the first installment of a new feature called "Get to Know a Mestee Reader".

MB: True or False: You are the best waterskier of all time.
BF: False, Allan (Fernald, his father) with the comb-over takes the cake.
MB: I see. You may not be the best waterskier of all time, but are you the most fashionable?
BF: No, again, my Dad has matched not only his bathing suit to his ski jacket but also the whole ensemble to the color scheme of the boat. That's impressive.
MB: It's in the genes, isn't it?
BF: It is, I came out of the womb knowing how to tie a full windsor knot and I couldn't even feed myself
MB: How many pairs of shoes do you own?
BF: Oooh, should I go count?
MB: If you want.
(Leaves to count his shoes)
BF: Twenty-three.
MB: And Jackets?
BF: Couldn't ask that at the same time?
MB: I suppose I could have.
(Gets up again to count jackets)
BF: Twenty.
MB: Why?
BF: I like killing small and large animals such as cows for the leather or moles for my moleskin jacket.
MB: Fair enough.
BF: And I like to coordinate the entire outfit, if you need a real answer.
MB: No need. You have agreed to boast about your inside the park homerun (this November in Law School Softball League) on only three occasions in the future. Have you used any of your chances yet? This is not a trick question, and does not count towards the three.
BF: Absolutely not, those three need to last me thru my mid-life crisis. I've had other stories to use in lieu of that, such as the cell phone story.
MB: So true. Moving along, what is your favorite nickname for yourself -- Pookitz, Poolcats, or Boner, and why?
BF: Poolcats, because nobody can figure out why.
MB: What's your favorite weapon to use in MarioKart other than bananas?
BF: Backwards green shell.
MB: Ah, a fine choice.
BF: It's all about the strategery.
MB: Which brings us to another topic: You're a Republican. Explain yourself.
BF: I'm a registered Republican and I do not vote along party lines. I do so in order to filter my vote for primaries. I'm fiscally conservative, yet I consider myself socially liberal so I face quite a conundrum. I guess I just prefer to be a well hung elephant than an ass.
MB: Better screen name: Fernaldo1 or Ebola5?
BF: Ebola5 easily because it's so absurd. I mean, who has that progressive of a disease and still has the wherewithall to get to aol to sign up for a sweet screenname?
MB: Nice use of "wherewithall". Lastly, what gives your signature hamburgers their delicious flavor?
BF: Worcestershire and garlic.
MB: A stroke of genius. There you have it, folks. Brendan likes Elephants, dead cows, Ebola, and appreciates a well-coordinated waterskiing outfit as much as a well-placed green turtle shell. Join us next time when we Get to Know a Mestee Reader.
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