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Friday, March 03, 2006

A S.A.D Situation 

I heard an ad on the radio the other day and almost had to pull the car over. "Do you have social anxiety disorder? You may have social anxiety disorder if"...and then they went on to list many things that accurately described me. I was curious, so I went on to investigate. What are some symptoms?

Fear of a situation in which you have to meet new people or you may be scrutinized by others. What if it's only five days a week?

Some people with social anxiety disorder are afraid of public speaking. Ooh...I totally am -- and I feel really different when I'm speaking in public. It's tough to describe.

You may feel anxious about giving a speech. Did anybody see me before giving Jack's wedding toast? Um, yeah.

The anxiety-provoking social situation causes physical symptoms like blushing, sweating, shaking, trembling, tense muscles, shaky voice, dry mouth or a pounding heart. I'd say that's a pretty accurate summary of any public speaking I've ever done.

The verdict is in: I have Social Anxiety Disorder. Stop looking at me.

Enough of that, let's answer something from the virtual mailbox...

Mestee,
I am quite tired of reading profiles of people with whom I am quite well acquinted. I would quite like it if you would introduce someone quite new to your readers. A Colin Nordman perhaps?

Regrettfully,
Andy Bean & Wife

P.S. Shoot the gap.


Bean & Wife,

I've just explained that I am a potential sufferer of Social Anxiety Disorder, and now you want me to make new friends?!? Have some courtesy. Besides, did you ever know that Irfan would rather be a professional mascot than a professional goalkeeper, or that Brendan's favorite MarioKart weapon -- other than bananas -- is backwards green shells? Surely this information is new to you and your bride alike. I think my objective to bring you compelling news about people you already know has been properly achieved.

Truly Yours,
Brian



Have a good weekend. I'm out.

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