Monday, April 24, 2006
Lady Fanny of Omaha
As you may have noticed, the holiday poll ended (in timely fashion) and the new poll is up. Unfortunately, John Stamos is leading so far, which means that I'll have to start working on ways to figure out his AIM screen name.
As an adult male, there are several things you can do to guarantee that you look like a jackass at almost any given time. Today, I witnessed two of them first hand:
I was filling up my car at the gas station when I noticed the guy at the next pump, approximately in his mid 30's, sporting a fanny pack. A fanny pack. I had actually forgotten about these things for a while until today's sighting. I actually made one of them in my home economics class in junior high. Sewing was not my strong suit, but I managed to finish it with a satisfactory level of quality, only to be tossed in the closet next to the crappy blue ash tray I made in art class and the giant crooked clock I put together for Industrial Arts class. If nothing else, junior high allowed me to see just how many things I had no talent for. I digress. The guy was wearing the fanny pack in the front which, while contrary to the name, became the popular way to wear said item. If you have any dignity, you will avoid "bringin' back the pack" as the fanny pack revolutionaries have been known to chant.
Item number two. Two words: Blue Tooth. Yes, blue tooth has developed a cool and useful technology which allows users to connect to their cell phone wirelessly. However, Blue Tooth has also developed and ear piece to go along with this technology which many guys have taken to wearing, um, at all times. Okay, if you're in the car, I
can see how it would be nice (and safer) to not hold the cell phone up to your ear. However, this does not mean that the device must be worn at all times. Today, I saw a guy wearing one at the urinal. If it didn't violating his personal space mid-urination, I would have slapped him. I'm not always quick to embrace technology, but I have a very hard time picturing myself ever wearing one of those things. I still can't get myself to take my cell phone off silent mode in public. Anyway, bottom line: headset = jackass. I've probably just offended a bunch of you, but I don't have time for revision.
Stamos, I'm comin' to getcha.
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As an adult male, there are several things you can do to guarantee that you look like a jackass at almost any given time. Today, I witnessed two of them first hand:
I was filling up my car at the gas station when I noticed the guy at the next pump, approximately in his mid 30's, sporting a fanny pack. A fanny pack. I had actually forgotten about these things for a while until today's sighting. I actually made one of them in my home economics class in junior high. Sewing was not my strong suit, but I managed to finish it with a satisfactory level of quality, only to be tossed in the closet next to the crappy blue ash tray I made in art class and the giant crooked clock I put together for Industrial Arts class. If nothing else, junior high allowed me to see just how many things I had no talent for. I digress. The guy was wearing the fanny pack in the front which, while contrary to the name, became the popular way to wear said item. If you have any dignity, you will avoid "bringin' back the pack" as the fanny pack revolutionaries have been known to chant.
Item number two. Two words: Blue Tooth. Yes, blue tooth has developed a cool and useful technology which allows users to connect to their cell phone wirelessly. However, Blue Tooth has also developed and ear piece to go along with this technology which many guys have taken to wearing, um, at all times. Okay, if you're in the car, I
can see how it would be nice (and safer) to not hold the cell phone up to your ear. However, this does not mean that the device must be worn at all times. Today, I saw a guy wearing one at the urinal. If it didn't violating his personal space mid-urination, I would have slapped him. I'm not always quick to embrace technology, but I have a very hard time picturing myself ever wearing one of those things. I still can't get myself to take my cell phone off silent mode in public. Anyway, bottom line: headset = jackass. I've probably just offended a bunch of you, but I don't have time for revision.Stamos, I'm comin' to getcha.
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