Mestee Blogger

MesteeBlogger: True or False: You are the smartest of all Huftons.

Hufton: True--smartest of all the Huftons, worldwide. You know, there are actually quite a few Huftons in the world, though I have no idea how many precisely.

MesteeBlogger: Is it German?

Hufton: I believe it is German.

MesteeBlogger: You believe? I thought you were the smartest?

Hufton: Smartest of all the Huftons. None of us know for sure.

MesteeBlogger: Tricky. Moving along...

Hufton: Incidentally, this discussion about names reminds me of a facebook group I once stumbled across called "No one but Adrian Zachariasewycz." It had 141 members--all with the same name. Namely, Adrian Zachariasewycz.

MesteeBlogger: Interesting, but who's running the interview here?

Hufton: Brian Adams. I wonder how many Brian Adams there are in the world.

MesteeBlogger: I don't. If I offered you an unlimited sum of money, but for every million dollars I gave you, you would lose an inch of height and 5 points of IQ, how much money would you take?

Hufton: Wow, good question. I'd take 500K.

MesteeBlogger: That's it?

Hufton: Yeah. Maybe 750K.

MesteeBlogger: Not a greedy man.

Hufton: I like being the smartest of all the Huftons. And there is some serious competition for that title out there: C. Dave, Linda B, etc.

MesteeBlogger: I think I'd be 4 foot 5 and dumb as a stump.

Hufton: That's a lot of money. How much money would that be, exactly?

MesteeBlogger: About 17 million. But enough about me...

Hufton: OK.

MesteeBlogger: You're a big reader. What was the last book you read?

Hufton: "The Virtues of War: A Novel of Alexander the Great," by Steven Pressfield, and before that, "The Loving Touch : A Guide to Being a Better Lover ," by Dr. Andrew Stanway.

MesteeBlogger: If you weren't allowed to read anything for a year, what would you learn in your spare time?

Hufton: You have a knack for asking questions that beg for non-serious responses. But as per your request, I will remain mostly serious. I'd learn...hmm...I'd learn a foreign language--assuming I could do so under this hypothetical w/o being allowed to read anything. If I couldn't do that, I might try learning to dance like Mike Jackson.

MesteeBlogger: Well, we all know you're a force to be reckoned with on the dance floor.

Hufton: Apparently, there is some dude in Ann Arbor who dances all by himself to Michael Jackson's greatest hits in an alley on the weekends. He's been featured in the campus newspaper.

MesteeBlogger: Always diverting attention away from yourself. Now, describe yourself in three words.

Hufton: Omnivorous, white, felino.

MesteeBlogger: Now describe your buttocks in three words.

Hufton: Carnivorous, white, redolent.

MesteeBlogger: Not radiant?

Hufton: No. Redolent. Sorry. Let's just agree that I'd describe my buttocks as white, radiant, and redolent.

MesteeBlogger: I would have described them that way on my own.

Hufton: You would have described by butt as redolent?!

MesteeBlogger: Moving along...

MesteeBlogger: (notices IM message “Hufton entering text”) Why are you typing?

Hufton: No reason. Go ahead, move along.

MesteeBlogger: Question, answer, question, answer. I hate to tell you, but Irfan was a much easier interview subject.

Hufton: Question?

MesteeBlogger: I'm thinking!

Hufton: I'm quite curious to see how much of this ends up in the blog.

MesteeBlogger: Were the BK Challenge** ever to have taken place, were you the clear cut favorite?

Hufton: If it were to take place now, and if the contestants were to include you, Irf, Fernald, Steve, and myself, I think I could most accurately be called a serious contender--but not a clear cut favorite. Irf dismisses his ability to put away food these days, but I suspect he could go through the BK menu quite a few times with the right motivation; e.g., if the losers had to refer to the winner as “The Champion” for the rest of his days.

MesteeBlogger: That would be good motivation.

Hufton: Still, I think I'd have good chance of winning.

MesteeBlogger: What's the next country you plan to visit?

Hufton: I don't have certain plans to visit any other countries at the moment. Most likely, though, the next country I visit will probably be Mexico. Would you like to ask John a few questions now?

MesteeBlogger: I suppose I'm supposed to ask, who is John?

Hufton: John Stamos, of course. He just walked in.

MesteeBlogger: Oh, dear. Now I'm nervous.

Hufton: I could get his autograph for you. He's just a celebrity--no need to be nervous. I didn't tell him about all your posters.

MesteeBlogger: Okay, put him on.

Stamos: Hey Mestee – it’s Stamos.

MesteeBlogger: John, describe your buttocks in 3 words.

Stamos: Famous, toned, hairless, and well tanned.

MesteeBlogger: Career highlight: Babysitting the Olsen twins, playing bongos for the Beach Boys on Kokomo, or starring in Jake in Progress?

Stamos: So hard to choose. Most proud of being on an emmy winning tv show Jake in Progress. Do you know I've dated or been married to supermodel/actress Rebecca Romijn, Lori Loughlin, Chelsea Noble, Demi Moore, Denise Richards, and current American Idol judge and former pop star Paula Abdul?

MesteeBlogger: Of course. Who has better hair, you or the guy who played Ponch on C.H.I.P.S?

Stamos: Ha! That washed up B-level actor Estrada's hair doesn't even compare to mine. I hear he got root implants.

MesteeBlogger: I think everyone knows it's true.

Stamos: Ok, Mestee, gotta run. Thanks for the interview. Here's Hufton.

Hufton: Hi Bri.

MesteeBlogger: Well, I'm going to spend the next nine hours editing this. Any final comments?

Hufton: Thank you for the interview. I know it was long overdue. I'm glad you caught me while John was here, as I know your readers wanted to get to know both of us.

MesteeBlogger: Truer words were never spoken.

**The BK Challenge, as created by the original tenants of 23 Boston Ave, consists of eating the most possible items from the Burger King Value Menu. Items include Bacon Cheeseburger, Two Crispy Beef Tacos, Oven-Baked Potato, Garden Salad, Four Piece Chicken Tender, French Fries, Soft Drink, Onion Rings, and Old Fashioned Ice Cream Shake. If more than one individual ate every item on the menu, a list of three playoff items would be chosen by a panel consisting of the losing contestants.