Mestee Blogger

So, if you're like me, you're watching the Celtics play the Hawks right now, wondering when the refs are going to stop calling stupid fouls and counting down the minutes before they get to go back to Boston and finish the series so we can get on with our lives. If you're not like me, you're probably watching Grey's Anatomy and/or planning a big camping trip. (Update! Celtics lost, series tied 2-2. This is infuriating.)

Jack and Irf came over to the condo to watch the Celtics on Saturday night. Through the first few games of the series, I became interested in an oafish player on the opposing team named Zaza Pachulia. In just the first few moments of seeing him, I became determined to stick him with the nickname "Spanish Frankenstein", as I felt that this best summarized his look. I really tried to get it going for a little while, noting his new nickname when he got a rebound or got a foul called on him. Irf was quick to point out that I couldn't stick a such a marginal player with a crazy nickname. He also found it ridiculous that Spanish Frankenstein might not even be Spanish (upon later review, we found he was from Georgia -- the Soviet kind, not the Savannah kind).

I argued that such a forgettable player needed a good nickname. At one point in the second half, Jack wanted to reference Zaza Pachulia, but couldn't recall his name, forcing him to say "Spanish Frankenstein" instead. Irf immediately warned him not to add fuel to my nickname fire, but it was too late.

Tonight, I explained to Irf that Spanish Frankenstein was called so because A) He looks vaguely Spanish and B) I imagine that, if he were to speak, it could only sound like this: "Aaaargh". I tried to really drive this point home tonight by saying "Aaaargh" every time Spanish Frankenstein appeared on screen. This is the unfortunate price that Irf has to pay for not having a TV and therefore becoming my captive audience for, minimally, the duration of the Celtics game.

This Spanish Frankenstein campaign has become similar to Jack's "Silky" campaign of 1998, where he attempted to start referring to Josh Wilke as "Silky Wilke", then gradually phase out "Wilke", so he could just call him "Silky". Jack jumped the gun, using "Silky Wilke" only two or three times before jumping straight to "Silky" and causing Josh Wilke to throw a fit. This, of course, is in stark contrast to Jack's triumphant "Boner" campaign of 2000, where he moved with shocking success from "Brendan" to "Brando" to the highly suspect "Brandoner" and then to "Boner". In recanting all of Jack's nickname attempts, it is easy to see why he was the first to jump on the "Spanish Frankenstein" bandwagon. All aboard!

I'm hoping to have a new edition of Get to Know a Mestee Reader by next week, so stay tuned.
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